AMAN-An Autism Awareness Story

“A..AAA…a, ,Hi, I am I am Aa Aman”

 “yeah, aaand this is my storyyryy’

speaking, speaking has alwaysss been been yes, my problem, probabbbbl,ly I might talk, talk in my thoughts thoughts yes, in thoughts to all of you, all”

 So reading three of these phrases took you more than usual, think about me, how much it hurts to explain a little thing to even the most closed ones, in this very fast moving world, where people have not enough time for a troubled person like me. Yeah, this is the pain I’ve to go through in my routine life. Speaking in thoughts is so easy, so wonderful and so soothing but unfortunately scientist still aren’t able to invent a machine that can read my mind and talk to people on my behalf.

 Well, generally I am a super cool, fun person, but I don’t possess a long friendship list. Having a sincere friend was my utmost desire, all my life. O yes talking about my life, I should tell that I’m a fifteen year old guy who landed on this strange planet where it took me fifteen long years to understand about the very basic customs of how to eat, what to eat, what are toilets, what’s the difference between inside and outside, differences between the pants, PJs and shirts and things like these. Also I have gathered a treasure of vocabulary that I rarely use.

 This is a doomed planet; beautiful but doomed, because a very strange kind of creature dominates all the other strange kinds of creatures here. This creature that biologically calls them Homo sapiens, look like me but behave insanely. I mean I am here for past many years but still they are ignoring my existence I don’t know why. They behave like aliens on their own planet. Well, talking about planet I should tell it’s name, it is called Earth. And I am so sure that I don’t belong here, I believe that I accidently landed here and lost my memory.

 At start I felt like floating in my mind and thoughts and the voices around me felt like horrific noisy horns that disturbed me badly. Visions were distorted and disturbed by sudden shuffling and movements. I felt cranky disturbed anxious and aggressive totally pissed off. Think of a person who is all alone, without compassion and love, zero attachments and understandings from surrounding world. Then I composed myself, gathered patience with time, and convinced to understand the strange place and it’s inhabitants.

 The very first two people I came to find were beautiful, their faces had so serene effect on them that gave me that unexplainable peace whenever I saw them. It made me all crazy and mad when they were not around. Their gestures, their touches, their nearness was all I had counted on. They were my people, my most priceless treasure on earth. I named them as “Angels” while in their language, they said they are my “pp..Pa..parents” something like “mmmom aand dddad”. Everything about them is just great and I kinda love them, like a lot.

 When I uttered first Homo sapiens word, mom angel was so excited that she wept. That tear, the water from her eye, was so warm that I felt it on my heart and I kept it in my memory. When I took first step, dad angel laughed so hardly that it still echoes in my mind. The first tear of mom angel and that first laughter of dad angel are two precious token of love that I collected in my hidden treasure. I got familiar with time with the idea of smile, cry, tear, anger, love, care and compassion and understood that this “Human” species call these strange feelings “the sentiments” or “the emotions”. In my case, I think I use them a lot, these are my tools of communication.

 Other than me and the parents, there are two more annoying people in this house, an evil brother and a not so angelic sister. They are so annoying that I can't stand them, their sarcastic smiles make me uncomfortable, their silly jokes and uncontrolled movements, gestures, I hate everything about them.  

 You may find me rude, but that's ok, that's what I am and that is what makes me different on this planet. I'm clear, I'm not hiding things, I speak what I feel, I am expressive, kinda over expressive and I'm anxious and aggressive at times. This planet and it's aliens annoy me and I'm confident enough to say that. I'm blunt and straight forward, the words from your vocabulary. I'm totally out of this box, out of planet and out of order and I feel no shame in it because this is what I am.

 So, talking about my brother and sister the two annoying people in my surroundings, they are too fast and too furious or maybe I am too slow and lazy. They ignore me as I am not there anymore, they never have time for me, they have more important things to do, than me. The only interaction with them happens at meals, where all of us sit together. Mom angel helps me take my meals properly, I feel sorry for her, as in helping me eat she misses her own meal with all and when everyone is gone to their tasks she is left alone. But I am there for her, always. She smiles and shares little things with me of everyday routine. Her voice calms my heart and relaxes my nerves. Only at these moments I feel important, more productive and more loved. I love her but she loves me even more.

 I have lots of dreams, one of them is to fly back to my planet, others are like if in any case I have to live on Earth I may get my super powers back. Super powers like walking a lot, running a lot, swimming a lot, horse riding, skiing, flying, playing more technical music instruments and most of all talking a lot making lots and lots of friends, everywhere. Make a dear friend, who has more patience more time and more attention for me. That he or she may sit in a place calmly and wait for each word that comes stuttering out of my mouth until it becomes a whole phrase. I wish I had a friend who tolerated me when I was annoyed, who caressed me when I was uncomfortable, who talked about God knows what, but talked to me.

 Well, life was going on and on, mom was trying to give me more time from all of her busy routine. Then one day mom had a guest lady with her and introduced her to me ‘Aman, look who is here, this is your friend she is going to be with you when mom is not here’ and that was the most exciting moment of my fifteen year life. Rabail, proved herself more than a friend, she cared for my every little thing, she helped me to do and try more new activities. She took me out to park for walk, told me about flowers, butterflies, grass, sky and birds, with her everything was different and beautiful. She was helping me in learning amazing skills, she gave me colors of all kinds, crayons, paints and papers to try drawing things I like. She taught me alphabets and helped me make phrases. At first it was difficult even with her to speak proper words but I felt she was building strange enthusiasm in me for learning more and more. I was spreading my wings first time in my life, like a bird who was cage free after so many years. I was painting flowers, ducks, trees, stars and much more. I was able to name things, now I was speaking new words, I was able to look around and observe little details.

 After my mom, Rabail was my most dearest person in this world. My mom was very happy and surprised too, she was wondering how all these years they missed to bring these amazing changes in me that Rabail has done so easily and amazingly. Rabail was happy with me, she waited for me to complete my sentences and replied them in most awesome ways, she walked patiently with my slow steps, she never complained about my anything. Life was getting better with every moment.

 It was that time of my life when I came to realize that I was HUMAN, the real Human. I was not from any other planet but Earth, I was same like strange people of this world, it was just that they were strange and indifferent to me and me to them. Problem was not in me or the Nature, problem was with the cruel inhabitants of this land who left me and others like me untold, unwritten, unheard for whole of our lives. We were not aliens or anything from space we were just AUTISTIC.

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